I'm going to regret this
Jun. 4th, 2010 09:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
People are going to be upset.
For some people it is their all, their only pairing - their OTP. I'm sure most people know it's only fandom and not to actually be taken literally but even if they don't that's really no need for the things I've seen said. The two guys they love with all their heart got married and it wasn't to each other - people are going to be devastated and the devastation is going to last for a while. It's not going to just go away. I know you wish fandom was perfect and that people would just get over it but it doesn't work that way, life doesn't work that way.
People are upset and they're going to be upset for as long as they want until they feel better about it or can rationalize it. Saying you want them to stop because it's embarassing you and making you sad for fandom is really kind of ridiculous and it's not going to do anything but make people a little pissed that they're not allowed to feel what they want but yet you're allowed to say what they're feeling is wrong. The pictures just came out and I'm sure the sadness is not even halfway over - it may even last the entire summer. Who knows how long it'll take people to get over it. I'm sure talk itself will die down after a week but the feeling will still be there in some fans, it won't have gone away. I really just think it's unfair to be so judgemental and tsk-tsk on people because they got more emotional than you. Now, there is a line of course, between emotional and irrational and if people go so far as to wish ill-will on the girls or even the boys themselves than yes, that is too far. But if people are simply being sad, moping a bit or making semi-whiny posts I really don't get the harm in that. J2 is their pairing and it's what they believed in and while most of the time it's easy to differentiate between fandom and RL canon sometimes - like these - it's not. I mean marraige is a big thing, it means all fic now will have to be AUs, in the past or divorce fics. Things change majorly - or can change majorly - after a marraige.
I am, personally, over it. I've come to terms with it in the last 24 hours and am perfectly fine and will go on reading j2 - new and old. I know others are not going to bounce back quite as quickly as me and that's fine. Everyone will cope and deal in different ways and trying to spur on the healing process because it'll make you feel better and less embarassed is kind of sad. Just let them be upset, let them whine and bitch - whatever they need to move on. After that's done and out of the way, they'll be able to realize it happened and it's not going to just go away and move on, too.
What I'm trying to say is - don't think your feelings are more important or valid than others. You may be embarassed of fandom right now for acting the way it is but I'm sure those who are still upset are embarassed themselves and probably a little hurt. I know some arent going to understand why people are so depressed with these events but they are and, to me, they have a bit of a right to be. J2 is pretty epic. But, in real life, they are now married and it's to two girls - Gen and Danneel - not to each other so a bit of the fun in fandom probably feels like it's gone and died. It hasn't though, I can assure you that - after all this moping fandom will - hopefully - be back bigger and better than ever.with an abundance of divorce fics
Just keep on living and do what you do, peeps; don't try to change others to fit what you want.
Ye not judge!
If I offended you in this post because you're one of the ones that's upset by how people are taking the pictures then I'm sorry but, you ranted in your journals, now I'm ranting in mine. No harm was truly meant to any of you and I feel no feelings of anger at all about it. I'm just trying to get everyone on the same level and come to terms with whats gone down in, hopefully, a reasonable way without starting the blaming game.
That is all.
For some people it is their all, their only pairing - their OTP. I'm sure most people know it's only fandom and not to actually be taken literally but even if they don't that's really no need for the things I've seen said. The two guys they love with all their heart got married and it wasn't to each other - people are going to be devastated and the devastation is going to last for a while. It's not going to just go away. I know you wish fandom was perfect and that people would just get over it but it doesn't work that way, life doesn't work that way.
People are upset and they're going to be upset for as long as they want until they feel better about it or can rationalize it. Saying you want them to stop because it's embarassing you and making you sad for fandom is really kind of ridiculous and it's not going to do anything but make people a little pissed that they're not allowed to feel what they want but yet you're allowed to say what they're feeling is wrong. The pictures just came out and I'm sure the sadness is not even halfway over - it may even last the entire summer. Who knows how long it'll take people to get over it. I'm sure talk itself will die down after a week but the feeling will still be there in some fans, it won't have gone away. I really just think it's unfair to be so judgemental and tsk-tsk on people because they got more emotional than you. Now, there is a line of course, between emotional and irrational and if people go so far as to wish ill-will on the girls or even the boys themselves than yes, that is too far. But if people are simply being sad, moping a bit or making semi-whiny posts I really don't get the harm in that. J2 is their pairing and it's what they believed in and while most of the time it's easy to differentiate between fandom and RL canon sometimes - like these - it's not. I mean marraige is a big thing, it means all fic now will have to be AUs, in the past or divorce fics. Things change majorly - or can change majorly - after a marraige.
I am, personally, over it. I've come to terms with it in the last 24 hours and am perfectly fine and will go on reading j2 - new and old. I know others are not going to bounce back quite as quickly as me and that's fine. Everyone will cope and deal in different ways and trying to spur on the healing process because it'll make you feel better and less embarassed is kind of sad. Just let them be upset, let them whine and bitch - whatever they need to move on. After that's done and out of the way, they'll be able to realize it happened and it's not going to just go away and move on, too.
What I'm trying to say is - don't think your feelings are more important or valid than others. You may be embarassed of fandom right now for acting the way it is but I'm sure those who are still upset are embarassed themselves and probably a little hurt. I know some arent going to understand why people are so depressed with these events but they are and, to me, they have a bit of a right to be. J2 is pretty epic. But, in real life, they are now married and it's to two girls - Gen and Danneel - not to each other so a bit of the fun in fandom probably feels like it's gone and died. It hasn't though, I can assure you that - after all this moping fandom will - hopefully - be back bigger and better than ever.
Just keep on living and do what you do, peeps; don't try to change others to fit what you want.
Ye not judge!
If I offended you in this post because you're one of the ones that's upset by how people are taking the pictures then I'm sorry but, you ranted in your journals, now I'm ranting in mine. No harm was truly meant to any of you and I feel no feelings of anger at all about it. I'm just trying to get everyone on the same level and come to terms with whats gone down in, hopefully, a reasonable way without starting the blaming game.
That is all.
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Date: 2010-06-04 02:46 pm (UTC)The one of the things that bothers me with this wank is how other people just DON'T EXCEPT the fact that yes, people are allowed to be a little bit sad, mope for a bit and then go on.
Thank you for writing this post. ♥
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Date: 2010-06-04 02:49 pm (UTC)I'm just..I don't know, I'm a little upset by some people thinking their feelings are more valid than others. Just because they didn't get as OMGNOOOOO about the pics doesn't mean others didn't and that they SHOULDN'T, just because their own feelings werent the same.
No problem. <3
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Date: 2010-06-04 02:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-04 02:50 pm (UTC)And I stated above that that bothers me too - I don't think that it's really a healthy way of coping with what happened. I just don't like how people are acting like their feelings on the subject are more important than others.
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Date: 2010-06-04 02:50 pm (UTC)Of course, I'm so on edge regarding potential character assassination right now that I am only reading AU.
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Date: 2010-06-04 02:53 pm (UTC)But, I already know there will probably be at least a few 'THE GIRLS ARE EVILLLL' divorce fics and I'm full aware of that. :p
xDDD This is true. I've been reading purely Wincest for the past few weeks and I'll probably stick with it for a while.
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Date: 2010-06-04 02:57 pm (UTC)I think you put it into words well, too.
You're awesome. <333333
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Date: 2010-06-04 03:04 pm (UTC)That's good. xD I'm still pretty tired so I was hoping that this would at least sound semi coherent.
You are too. <333
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Date: 2010-06-04 03:11 pm (UTC)I thought I was over the boys being married, I honestly did. But yesterday was when I realized that actually I wasn't. Seeing the pics of the boys and their wives, that was easy for me. But seeing pictures of the boys together and NOT married to each other...that was hard.
Thank you for this, so much.
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Date: 2010-06-04 03:21 pm (UTC)Yeah, I was pretty okay with everything then I, too, got a little :/ about it after seeing the pics. I let myself have a fifteen minute cry then I vowed to never cry about it again. I've kept to my promise so far. :p
No problem, sweetie. *hugs* ♥
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Date: 2010-06-04 03:12 pm (UTC)Seriously, those pictures are really freaking adorable. I love them!
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Date: 2010-06-04 03:22 pm (UTC)Haha I'm glad you're able to do that, cause I sure can't. It's still j2 all the way for me. Though I do know I won't be able to read fic where they make out the girls to be villains or something because I know thats not true and it makes me :/ now.
They are adorable! It looked like a great wedding. :D
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Date: 2010-06-04 03:27 pm (UTC)It is great that you shared this because I know you were upset about the guys being married. I also think that it needs to be said.
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Date: 2010-06-04 03:32 pm (UTC)I've heard that too - plus I've seen vids with the both of them and they both seem very nice and lovely.
Still cant stand Danneel's voice though.I was upset but I'm okay now, but thank you. <3333
*huggles* Aww that is so cute! :D
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Date: 2010-06-04 03:29 pm (UTC)I don't really know what else to say because you said most of it but just... yeah. This. <3
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Date: 2010-06-04 03:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-06-04 03:29 pm (UTC)I know I'm repeating myself but I really don't see our J2 and the real J2 colliding. Our J2 has always been fictional, even though it's based on so many facts. And it will remain fiction. We may ship them like crazy but that doesn't mean we don't accept their life choices or don't wish them success in every aspect of their lives.
So... yeah, I'll be sitting in my corner quietly, reading fics like this (http://raconter.livejournal.com/24046.html) and waiting for the whole wedding fever and depression to go away.
And hey, btw - I'm really glad I did that friending meme if I get to know people like you ;)
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Date: 2010-06-04 03:36 pm (UTC)Yup, totally agree. *nod*
Yay cuddle!fic; I adore those so much and those are JUST what we need right now. Thanks for that link. <33
Awww thanks so much, bb, you're so sweet. <333 I feel the same way and that's why I do friending memes because sometimes you get lucky and meet some really awesome people. :D ♥
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Date: 2010-06-04 03:56 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-06-04 04:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-05 03:51 pm (UTC)Yup, they just do what they do - I'm finally reazling that now. :p
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Date: 2010-06-04 04:12 pm (UTC)I mean, it's not like we go there threatening their family outside their house's gate. they are free to do what they want, and they did. I am free too to have a reaction and to cope as I want.
I don't understand all these posts that say "you shouldn't do that, you shouldn't react like that".
Everyone is free to react as they want, to write fic in which Gen and Dan are bitches or angels... whatever.
I'll go on my way and I don't think my ideas about J2 are going to change anything soon.
thanks a lot for writing this sweetheart.
*hugs*
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Date: 2010-06-05 03:52 pm (UTC)Yeah, that would just not be right; at all.
No problem hun; I was just hoping to make those who still feel upset a little bit better cause I know they're being harshed upon a bit.
*huggles* <3
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Date: 2010-06-04 04:17 pm (UTC)WELL DONE, AND WORD.
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Date: 2010-06-05 03:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-04 04:21 pm (UTC)i agree, me? i'm with you, i still love J2, but i've come to terms with it and will still read the fic, no matter what. but i understand how some people can and will still be sad. for me the wedding days were harder than the wedding photos. idk. my brain. but yeah, and for people to tell a part of fandom to stfu and get over it. is just retarded. sure we don't know these guys... but for some people they've been shipping them for 5 years. that's a long ass time for someone to ship something, and lot of people can't just 'get over it' and people telling them too just because the pictures are out now? is stupid
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Date: 2010-06-05 03:53 pm (UTC)Yeah, exactly what you said. I'm still a little :/ and I'm sure I will be for pretty much ever but I have come to terms with the whole things so now it's just back to the j2! :D
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Date: 2010-06-04 04:21 pm (UTC)thank you so much. this post will mean the world to so many fans! myself included. Im not losing sleep over the whole thing, but just as you put it everything is AU from now on, and im ok with that.
this is beautiful ♥
& I don't know how people can be upset with such a positive, unjudgmental post. its more mature then the latter i've come across from the non-j2 fans :)
im recc'ing this on my journal, so i hope you don't mind
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Date: 2010-06-05 03:54 pm (UTC)Thank you so much; I was really just writing this for the fans who still find themselves upset and wanted to let them know that there IS someone out there who understands and that not everyone just wants them to shut up.
Thank you, again, I'm glad it came off that way.
No problem at all! I'm honored. :]
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Date: 2010-06-04 05:00 pm (UTC)The weddings mean nothing to me and they won't change the way i feel about J2.
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Date: 2010-06-05 04:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-04 09:29 pm (UTC)Love ya! :)
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Date: 2010-06-05 04:00 pm (UTC)<3333 *hugs*
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Date: 2010-06-05 01:32 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-06-05 10:37 pm (UTC)i posted an entry like this once and was murdered on spot. glad someone has a better way with words than i!
i actually can't stop laughing at the people who are making a big deal about it, though. it's hilarious.
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Date: 2010-06-06 12:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-06 11:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-06 01:09 am (UTC)Personally, and I know that you care - being that we're strangers and all. :p - I ship Jared/Jensen, Jensen/Danneel, Jared/Genevieve, Genevieve/Jensen, Harris/Padalecki and possibly Jared/Jensen/Genevieve and if I should ever see a picture of Jared, Jensen and Danneel together? Well, I suspect I would take a flying leap onto that bandwagon as well.
However? I truly believe that Jensen loves Jared more than he's loved anyone in his whole damn life and that is why I cannot be removing my tinhat anytime soon.
Right then. The point is, I quite agree with and enjoy this post.
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Date: 2010-06-06 11:39 pm (UTC)